I am not a writer but I do like to chat. I enjoy talking with my friends about our life experiences and as of lately how my life has switched tracks and what that means and feels like. Life is ever changing and being in what everyone is referring to as a "transition" stage, I guess I am in the midst of major changes.
Recently divorced and in my early 30s (31 now) means my life would fall into the very definition of change. There are many days when I think that this new transitional life is all a strange dream. Ha - or maybe the previous life was? I kinda think that is an interesting take actually, maybe that life was the dream...? So, that would mean I am awake now with some insights as to what I should want and not want out of life. Figuring out my life and being real - hmmmm......
I guess the old life was your typical "dream" scenario though - met in college, dated, moved in together after graduation, got engaged, married a year and a half later. Then bought the townhouse, a year later the dog came, and two years after that the house with the yard. The only thing missing was the baby and white picket fence
Adding that all up means we were together for a long time, 12 years to be exact from our first meeting to the divorce being final. So many memories and most of them are good...and really good actually. It seemed a year into the marriage though things got....well odd to be exact. We were becoming very good friends, which you want right? But we also were just really good roommates. There was some sort of divide there and it wasn't getting better. We had many talks and some counseling on and off for 4 years to try and piece things together. In the end we loved, cared, and respected each other enough to let each other go, before kids entered the picture or things just got worse.
It is not a typical divorce situation, if there is one, but that doesn't make it any easier either. We are still friends and have been figuring out how to stay that way. Not sure if we do it so others are comfortable or if it is just us being us. I remember one day in the middle of the separation he asked me "how long do you think we would have kept going... being polite and doing the right thing?" That was how we were too - oldest children who were people pleasers. We used to joke at times it was our fatal flaw. He had a point and I all I could do was shrug my shoulders.
Going from being with and thinking about someone else for 12 years to having only myself is a huge transition right there. Now it is about me and what I want and don't want. I know myself much better at this stage and yet it is like a rebirth and relearning where I need to get to re-know me.
So why blog? Because I have been learning all sorts of things about this life transition and how others view it too, which has its moments - let me tell you - and I will. I am hoping to find others who can relate and share in my stories and insights along the way. Mostly I am doing this for me to get some things off my chest - ha!