Monday, October 26, 2009

Dog-lemma

Can you really just be friends? I guess that question varies depending on the persons and situation of course but I am asking it out loud for myself and for my situation. I mean, I thought we could on some level at least. I realize that it was maybe just us being us and trying to do the thing we thought was right and would make others feel more comfortable too.

Where is all this coming from you may be wondering? Well last week I went to pick up our dog for a long weekend visit with me and it became apparent that the seeing each other for the dog exchanges is just too much. It is too hard to see each other because you can never really just move on. It is constant road construction on the path to healing. Just as life is cruising along one way, you have to have a blast from the, not so far off, past in your face every other weekend making you take the emotional off road detour again....and again. This becomes very wearing and at times frustrating too.

The elephant in our current relationship standing is now our amazing dog. How do we handle this? Clearly what we have been doing is not working anymore. People tell me that he is just a dog, which I am aware of however, he is my baby too. I helped to raise him from a 5lbs swollen bellied lil guy to the sweet 4 year old dog he is now. He puts a smile on my face and can lighten my heart in a split second.

I am not at a place where I can have full time and the routine he is used to is with Ex. He offered to just keep him yet I could see him if I want and we would work something out. So should I give up the custody to Ex, at least for now? Ugh - It just chokes me up.

Perhaps it is all just too much right now. I mean there are so many stages to moving on and at this point in time I think Ex and I need to keep some space between us in order to truly heal. Maybe once my living situation changes and there has been some healing, we can readdress the dog custody matter again with more level heads and settled hearts.

Friends with an Ex? Hmm... Who knows if it will be completely that way for him and I but I guess for now we just have to have our relationship behind the "Construction Work Ahead - proceed with caution" sign. Once some of the dust has settled and things have been redone on our paths then we can re figure out how to drive our course...maybe as friends and maybe not.

1 comment:

  1. Yes, I thought it was too much when I heard about that. I know it would have been too hard for me. Maybe you guys need to decide and just one of you keep the dog.

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