Sunday, November 8, 2009

Home Again

Not sure if I have been clear with my current living situation on here but I have been back home with my parents for almost 6 months now.  Damn!  Can't believe it has been half a year already......really!?! 

I remember when I was moving back and feeling nervous about how it would go because I have not lived at home for over a decade.  Visiting and spending a night here and there over the years has been one thing but moving back full time is another.

Moved back into the room I lived in when I was last here.  It has changed some from then but it was like being transported to another dimension or something.  Where everything is the same yet beyond different.  I have made the room my own the best I can in a cozy yet don’t get too comfy sort of way.

My parents are amazing and it is great to have their support and understanding.  However, it is not easy for an adult child to return home after being on their own. Especially one that was once married running a household.  I mean I had my own home, family, and way of doing things.  Coming back to the place where I learned how to "live" and yet now having done things on my own for so long is a bit like mixing oil and water at times.

I have read, and heard, that on average the adult child returning is home for 1-3 years in these types of similar situations.  So, I am at the 6 month mark now and knowing the statistics, I don't feel abnormal or anything but I feel anything but normal all the same.  How can I?  This just doesn't feel real sometimes to be honest.  As I accidentally grab my father’s towel to use when getting out of the shower, I freeze and ask myself - "hmmmmm.....is this my life?”

Of course I have to laugh at things like the towel situatuion.  That and doing laundry with commentary, and remembering to fill the water jug with the other water jug in the fridge and then fill that jug..... (this process is hard to explain unless you've been here).  With all that said, we do pretty well.  Cooking and baking together sometimes.  Snacking while we watch Biggest Loser and Flip to HGTV during commercial breaks.  My mom has even helped me fix up jackets I thought were lost causes.  I heart my jackets!  Over all, it has been a bitter sweet experience for us.

I realized that my attitude about being home has shifted to focus on good times with my parents and in a way, getting to know each other again.  I have also gotten more time with my nieces and nephew.  Yet, the main reason for me moving back is to be able to take some time to heal and focus on the next chapter of my life.

That next chapter is so fuzzy at times and can really frustrate me.  However, I am just learning to be present to the moment I am in and keep growing and challenging myself.  Being home again represents going back to a place and time where I was me before I was a we.  It is a fascinating concept and is actually an interesting from of therapy I think.  Going back a place where life was once about me and my future adventures.  And so it goes again.......Coming back to go forward.

1 comment:

  1. Just scrolling through your last few posts I can see you are going through something big. I am sorry your marriage didn't work out. This can also be the start of a very exciting time for you as well. I hope you can embrace it!!!!!

    Being back with the parents can be weird, I did that in my 20's after a breakup and before moving to FL from NY. BUT it was a good thing. Good luck in everything!!

    And thanks for sharing in my SITS day on 10/29. I am STILL playing catch up!

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